Life is too Short....

Wow....this week at work has been indescribeable.....exhausting, scary, emotionally draining...you name it! The hardest part of this week was facing what I knew was inevitable....Last night (Wednesday night), I lost one of my closest patients. No words can even begin to describe the relationship I had with this patient and his family. I felt as though I had become a part of their family, as did a handful of other nurses on our floor. This patient was so special to me....I'm not even sure why, but he just had that kind of an impact on others. I am speechless when it comes to how many positive things I have to say about this family and about this patient. You just loved them. It was as simple as that. How much of an honor it was to go through this experience with them. What is weird is how this began as strictly a patient/nurse relationship that quickly grew into a patient/friend relationship and then into a patient/family relationship. I knew this kind of situation would arise at some point in my career, but not to this extent. My heart is overflowing with love, sadness, and sympathy. He fought so hard and so strong for his children, for his wife, for his family....and his fight peacefully ended with a grin on his face and with his family surrounding him. I'm convinced he was smiling for The Lord and the hundreds of angels calling him home.

I was obligated to fulfill my nurse role by listening to his absent heartbeat and his absent breath, and having the to utter the painful words, "he is gone". However, I quickly felt less like a nurse and more of a family member when we all wrapped our arms around each other and wept tears of sadness and relief. Such a bittersweet and indescribeable moment. It was so rewarding to hear words of gratitude from his family towards myself and the other nursing staff. That is the kind of people they are...in the midst of sadness and frustration, they still found the heart to express gratitude in such a loving way. I won't ever forget the wonderful feeling I had when each one of them hugged me tightly and said "Thank you for all you have done." As I told them all goodbye, it took all I had to hold myself together as I watched them walk out of the hospital for the first time in months.....

I got home the next morning and just broke down. I was so thankful for having my mom there to cry with me and to listen....needless to say I hardly got a wink of sleep before I came back to work tonight...his face was egraved in my mind....but I wouldn't change these feelings for anything. I am so humbled, so blessed, and so thankful that I was able to go through this experience and that this patient was placed into my life. I truly believe God was in complete control of this entire encounter. I believe he called me into the nursing profession. I believe he put this patient in my life. And I believe he wanted me there for this particular moment.

I will always remember my patient. I will always remember his family. I will remember their abundant kindness towards myself, and their love and respect they had for eachother.

Now, I ask that you keep this family in your thoughts and prayers. Although this was a very expected loss, no one is ever prepared enough to lose a loved one...so always, ALWAYS tell the people close to you that you love them no matter what! Take time out of your life for the ones you love. Life is just too short to waste quality time.....I love you all!